Let’s talk about the types of toxic people you need to get out of your life… like, now.
I’m gonna be real with you… the older I get, the less tolerance I have for shitty people. I don’t know why, but I’ve just never been able to get into the whole “brown-nosing, fake world of white lies to make people feel better” type of thing.
That being said, over the past few years, I’ve caught myself becoming more and more depressed. Every day I was getting more caught up in the drama until I realized that I was surrounded by a slew of toxic people that didn’t allow me to be true to myself.
Needless to say, I’ve discovered how important it is to be yourself and not let people bring you down. You’ll never make it out alive if you don’t.
So without further ado, here are the different types of toxic people you need to kick to the curb today.
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1. The Narcissist
Let’s be real. The society we live in is FULL of narcissistic people. If you don’t believe me, hang out at Costco on a Saturday afternoon.
If you made a vow to get rid of all narcissistic people in your life, you’d have no friends. I’m really just talking about the person with
These types of people are obsessed with grandiose feelings of exaggerated self-importance and strive for constant admiration. They will do anything and everything they can to make themselves look better than you, and have no remorse about it.
They expect special treatment, monopolize conversations and get angry when they don’t get what they want.
To top it off, they’re also very manipulative and make you feel bad for calling them out on their unfair practices. You can forget about ever talking to them about problems in your relationship because they simply don’t care.
2. The One-Upper
We all have the one friend that always has to be better than you, no matter what. If you lost 5 lbs, they lost 20. If you bought a new house, they bought a castle in France.
While it’s incredibly annoying, you have to remember that one-uppers tend to be very self-conscious and insecure. They tell themselves that they’re better than everyone to feel a false sense of belonging.
Even knowing that they’re acting out of insecurity, it can still make you feel less than you are. The best way to handle these types of toxic people is to acknowledge their accomplishments and walk away.
Trying to one-up a one-upper could end badly.
3. The Attention-Diverter
Then, there’s that person at work that likes to draw
In a twisted way, it almost draws more attention to them, and now they’re also known as a gossip.
I deal with these people by ignoring them and continuing to be the best I can be. As long as you know you’re a good person and you do what you’re supposed to, it shouldn’t matter when people try to drag you down for their own sake.
Nevertheless, you should stay away from these people.
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4. The Attention-Starved
How about the person that will do absolutely ANYTHING to get a little speck of attention? Chances are that you’re friends with some of these guys because they’re all over the place.
They’ll talk over everyone in the room. They’ll inform an entire restaurant of their gluten allergy. And you can bet that you’ll know everything their kids did over the weekend.
Heck, they’ll probably even eat laundry detergent for likes on Facebook.
Let’s face it; everyone likes attention, and it would be impossible to avoid it completely. But I’m talking about the person that can’t ever have a conversation without drawing the focus back to themselves… you know who I’m talking about…
5. The “Just Have One Piece Of Pie” Friend
This type of person bothers me the most because they seem innocent and most people shrug them off. I’m talking about the one friend that is always trying to throw you off your horse, so they feel better when they fall off theirs.
No joke… At one point, I had to stop going to potlucks at work because people would always make a big deal about my clean eating habits. They’d say things like, “well you don’t need to lose weight,” “you need to add more carbs to your diet,” or “one piece of pie won’t hurt you.” In fact, there have been times that people would bring me a piece after I politely declined.
It even went as far as people saying that I was trying to act better than everyone else by not eating pie with them… so I simply stopped going.
Diet-sabotaging people are toxic because they aren’t supportive of your goals are always trying to tempt you into failure. Don’t do it!
6. The Stage 5 Clinger
I don’t know about you, but there are a limited number of people in the world I can take for more than a few minutes at a time. While I do enjoy time with my good friends, I’m also a very introverted, self-reliant person that cherishes alone-time.
I very much like my bubble of personal space and get really irritable when people try to invade it. But some people still want to suck all your time away like little time-sucking vampires.
They may even start texting you repeatedly to see what you’re doing or stopping by your house unexpectedly.
The best way to handle these types of people is to reestablish your boundaries with them. Don’t allow them to always be in your business and take longer to respond to them. You might even try to introduce them to other friends.
7. The Complainer
Okay, okay… I have to admit: I’m that friend. I literally complain about everything.
I mean… I like to think that the reason I complain is
However, I do realize that this is a personality flaw that I need to work on. When I come home at night and complain about my day to my husband, it drags him down and makes him feel depressed. It’s a vicious cycle.
I’m a firm believer that you feed off the energy around you, and if you’re constantly surrounded by people that complain, it’ll make you unhappy.
8. The Shady Manipulator
This is one of the most dangerous types of friends you can have. I’m talking about the one that makes you think everything is awesome, while they are really doing subtle things to dig their claws in you.
Abigail Brenner, M.D., a Psychiatrist with over 30 years of experience, describes manipulative people on Psychology Today as being, “not interested in you except as a vehicle to allow them to gain control so that you become an unwilling participant in their plans.”
You feel like something is “off,” but feel guilty for thinking that about them when they are so nice. Meanwhile, they’re keeping you right where they want you.
9. The Condescender
One thing that really bothers me is when people talk down to others. Everyone is a human with their own struggles, and you don’t know what they’ve been through in life. Furthermore, you really shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.
In the past few years, I’ve had a lot of people treat me like I’m dumb because I don’t have a Bachelor’s degree. They’d point out how they made more money than me and how I’m not qualified to make any important decisions because I didn’t finish college.
What they failed to realize was that I run a successful online business that I started from scratch. It makes up a large chunk of my income (learn how you can do it too with my FREE blogging crash course!) minus the student debt.
And by the way, I don’t have my Bachelor’s degree, not because I’m an idiot, but because of barriers in my life that prevented it from happening. I put a lot of effort into trying but eventually decided that my life was better spent doing other things.
My point is that you should never let anyone talk down to you. If you have a Bachelor’s degree, you should be extremely proud of yourself, but you shouldn’t treat others worse because of it. We’re all human, and at the end of the day, nobody is better than anyone else.
10. The Friend That Tells You Everything Others Say About You
There’s only one reason to tell everyone what people say about them, and that’s to be malicious.
We need to remember that there’s no possible way to make everyone like you and you’re always gonna have haters. I don’t care to hear the things people say about me because all it does is bring me down, no matter how hard I try not to let it.
I never go out of my way to ask people what others say about me because frankly, I don’t care.
But even then you’ll always have that person that feels like it’s their duty to spill the details. Again, I feel like they only do this to knock you down to their level, which just leads to drama and disappointment.
11. The Patronizer
Unfortunately, this is another thing I deal with a lot, and this animated GIF speaks to my soul.
To patronize someone is to:
- Talk slow to someone slowly, or in baby-talk, like they wouldn’t understand you
- Shower them with unnecessary, excessive compliments or praise
- Making something important seem less important than it is (example: “How’s your little blog doing?,” “Hollee has the cutest little house, you should see it”)
While it’s frustrating, psychologists say that this behavior tends to stem from jealousy and/or insecurity. The perpetrator makes themselves feel more important by dropping others to a lower level.
The best way to handle these types of people is not to get upset, but reset your boundaries and assertively stand your ground (example: “Yeah, my house is pretty awesome. It’s in a really nice development, and I love it!”).
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12. The Eeyore
Again, this sounds like me sometimes. I’ve dealt with a lot of depression in my life, and I tend to run a bit pessimistic at times. The good news for me is that I can usually snap out of it after having a pep-talk with myself.
On the other hand, when I spend too much time around negative people, it really pushes me down into a negative place. It’s so much better for my mental health for me to avoid these types of toxic people altogether.
But this scenario isn’t unique to my life. Negativity tends to spread, the more we let it. Cut it off and leave it behind.
13. The Brown-Noser
I’ve never been able to understand people that do this. I’m a genuine person and I couldn’t kiss ass if I wanted to.
To demonstrate, let’s take a trip down memory lane.
I used to work in an incredibly depressing office of a manufacturing plant. The girl I shared an office with was the most miserable person I’ve ever met in my life.
She would get in huge fights with her husband on the phone every day, inappropriately degrade other employees and talk like everyone was inferior to her. However, the second management walked through the door, she was all cake and roses.
*overly fake high-pitched voice* “Hello Mrs. Smith, I sure can’t wait to try your world-famous pumpkin pie next week at the potluck.”
14. The Backstabber
We all know this person… the Cersei Lannister of the workplace…
The one who will do anything to get a foot above you. They’ll be your best friend to your face, but have no problem cutting you down in front of others. Again, this comes from an obsessive need to feel powerful.
The best way to handle people like this is just to avoid them.
15. The Victim
Last, but not least, let’s talk about the person that’s always the victim.
The victim never takes responsibility and is always being picked on by others. In my own experiences, I’ve learned that people really don’t care when you’re down. In fact, most of the time, they enjoy it… because, again, it makes them feel powerful.
Additionally, always playing the victim is a tell-tale sign that you could be dealing with a psychopath. It’s also a personality trait of other types of toxic people on this list.
While you can listen to this person’s problems a few times, don’t let them make you feel bad for them or use it to control you. But also don’t give them more reasons to be victimized either. Slowly cut them out of your life.
Unfortunately, you can never make these types of toxic people go away, and you can’t change their behaviors.
You CAN choose the people in your tribe, and you should fill it with uplifting, positive people that bring value to your life.
Never let the haters dull your shine.